Humorous English Signs From Around The World

[andy.powell@xxxxxxx]

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Sorry but I had to...

A.



TOKYO HOTEL: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a
person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

BUCHAREST (ROMANIA) HOTEL: The list is being fixed for the next day.
During
that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

LEIPZIG (GERMANY) ELEVATOR: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when


lit up.

BELGRADE (YUGOSLAVIA) ELEVATOR: To move the cabin, push button for wishing


floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a
number of wishing floor. Driving then going alphabetically by national
order.

PARIS HOTEL ELEVATOR: Please leave your values at the front desk.

ATHENS (GREECE) HOTEL: Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.

YUGOSLAVIAN HOTEL: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of


the chambermaid.

JAPANESE HOTEL: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

MOSCOW HOTEL: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian
and
Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

SWISS MENU: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

AUSTRIAN SKI LODGE: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of
repose
in the boots of ascension.

POLISH MENU: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy
dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers
beaten up in the country people's fashion.

HONG KONG TAILOR SHOP: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

BANGKOK DRY CLEANERS: Drop your trousers here for best results.

PARIS DRESS SHOP: Dresses for street walking.

RHODES (GREECE) TAILOR SHOP: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush
we
will execute customers in strict rotation.

SOVIET NEWSPAPER: There will be a Moscow exhibition of Arts by 15,000
Soviet
Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two
years.

GERMAN CAMPING SITE: It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping
site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live
together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that
purpose.

HONG KONG AD: Teeth extracted by the lastest methodists.

ROME LAUNDRY: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon
having
a good time.

CZECH TOURIST AGENCY: Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We
guarantee
no miscarriages.

SWISS MOUNTAIN INN: Special today - no ice cream.

COPENHAGEN (DENMARK) AIRLINE: We take your bags and send them in all
directions.

MOSCOW HOTEL: If this is your first visit to the U.S.S.R., you are welcome


to it.

NORWEGIAN LOUNGE: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

BUDAPEST (HUNGARY) ZOO: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any
suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

ROMAN DOCTOR: Specialist in women and other diseases.

ACUPULCO HOTEL: The manager has personally passed all the water served
here.

TOKYO SHOP: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are
best
in the long run.

JAPANESE HOTEL: colles and heates: If you want just condition of warm in
your room, please control yourself.

TOKYO CAR RENTAL FIRM: When passender of foot heave in sight, tootle the
horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your
passage then tootle him with vigor.



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